Fundamental Human Needs

More on understanding, affection, participation etc

2007-12-04T00:52:00.000-08:00

On 2nd December Prof. David Shemmings at Kent University explained the way attachment behaviour is organised in three different ways, which developed evolutionarily to the different ways infants gained proximity to a primary caregiver. "I link this to the concept of ‘theory of mind’, and draw together three different strands: a) why we experience parts of the world unconsciously b) how this shows itself in the way our brains are wired and c) what effect this has on our early attachment relationships".

It was not just what he said but the way he said it made all the difference. It's obvious that David enjoys living and in speaking as he did created a congenial environment which made such sense.

eg. He suggested that to ask another to trust you is one thing but to act towards him or her in a trustworthy manner is what really matters. And with his reference to ToM this entry could well belong in the new skills section of this blog but on balance I'm entering it as a new resource.

We think in terms of social workers dealing with difficult situations in clients or serice users lives; yet such a worker dealing with her case load has others on her mind hwther at work or at home each with difficulties in their own lives. David's approach made sense who ever a listener had in mind at any moment in his address.

So confidence develops almost automatically in such an environment.

Seductive simplicity.

2007-11-19T02:56:00.000-08:00

As a child long long ago my mother taught me evening prayers which included a line 'pity my simplicity' so that even the idea of simplicity set my teeth on edge.

Yesterday I saw how complex relationships are. Some years ago mi amiga Anna shared with her mother some concern over Alex her then teenage daughter; her mother's response was to teach Alex to cook. Now ten years later she has a home and family of her own and enjoys cooking.

Every time Alex turns to cooking she is inadvertently tapping into her relationship with her grandmother who alas died in the meantime. Can we begin to imagine the extent of the relationship that inadvertently attends her every time she goes to the kitchen and sets about the act and the art of cooking.

We can glimpse the value and the scope of the relationship between three women and the compexity over years of the thought that goes into Alex's skill and interest.

Such a report of our humanity is repeated countless times every day. Such is the stuff of our living and thinking and our conversations and encounters.

Realising the potential of our constant and dynamic fundamental human needs.

2007-10-08T03:56:00.000-07:00

Manfred Max-Neef introduced me to the idea that our needs are potentials and this has made all the difference.
.
Read of Manfred's theory
.
And Chapter 12 of web site includes video taken from the Channel 4 profile of him in his native Chile.

What happens when we fail to realise the potentials of our needs

2007-05-25T06:44:00.001-07:00

But if we deny the urge to realise the potential of our needs we suffer and in the end will snatch at anything which seems to satisfy us (to shut us up) if only for the time being. Snatching at whatever is at hand is problematic and dangerous particularly if we drink contaminated water or believe and then act on received wisdom, lies and half truths.

So what if we satisfy
our urge for protection and security by buying phoney or suspect insurance
our urge for affection by selling ourselves short and
our urge for understanding by going along with what's being said
our urge for participation by joining in an activity to avoid a sense of lonliness
our urge to reflect by finding good reasons to blame someone else for our misfortune
our urge to create by making flawed if not spurious decisions
our urge for identity by hunting and clamouring for status
our urge for freedom by running away from our responsibilities.

Experience of such qualified satisfaction of our fundamental human needs is a can of worms, a black hole, an environment in which detrimental sticky embedded contextual and tacit knowledge can drag us into worry from which there seems no escape.

Affection: this takes a lot of understanding

2007-05-25T03:30:00.000-07:00

Usual idea is that someone will love us and that seems to work for many people. Sometimes we rely on promises that someone will love us for ever.

But we do well to understand that we are innately affectionate people. We were born that way and unless something goes wrong we spontaneously return the affection we're usually given

But what if we satisfy our urge for affection by selling ourselves short and snatch at love

It's useful to remember that a friend is someone we find worthy of our love, and vice versa